The Clay Modelling

From my childhood, I had passion towards arts. As a kid, I almost participated in every competition I could join. But it all stopped when I shifted from Mumbai to Kerala. Sometimes you just change as the environment around you change. I was not as confident and became shy in my own ways.

"I liked to express myself but no-one was really that much interested "- I used to think like that but later I realized there was a little politics there too. Because who all participated could cut the classes and practice and if you got the prize you can get marks in the yearly exam. Isn't it cool? But I didn't get a chance to go to any of the school events because I wasn't a bright child enough so I couldn't get to go. teachers always choose the talented children who are good in their studies too. It was not fully their fault. It was because the smart studying could catch the left out classes and notes but they really didn't trust to do the same with others. Anyway, every year I thought anything would change but it didn't. Finally, it changed but unfortunately didn't go as planned. I had to quit after almost I studied this song for a competition. This really broke my heart. That I decided to stop hoping. I completed my 10th grade. I got transferred to another changed school.

Everything is new. As we see in movies a new start. I had stopped thinking about these cultural programs or school competition. Anyway, when the time of these so said competition came. I decided not to participate in singing and dancing. Every kid wants to get elected to participate for next level. I didn't want any hard feelings for anyone. But somewhere deep inside I wanted to be a part of it for at least once in my lifetime. So this time I just came up will a plan why I should complete in an event that every kid in school wants to participate and win then go to next level school competition.

My school had a total of 600 kids in 12 classes altogether. It was a girl's high school. What will be that particular event that not many of them won't participate? Guess what. Clay modelling. This was the only competition I could take part. I registered my name for the event. Soon it was revealed that the clay modelling I thought was with clay but the clay modelling they took my name had to be done with mud. Of course, as everything, this to had to have a twist off its own. It's my life there can't do a thing without a twist. This time it was Mud instead of Clay. I just realized that I got into a big trouble.

But now I can't withdraw my name. I wanted to skip my class badly. I'm in high school. If I cant do this maybe I would not get a chance to cancel the event. So I  decide to go on with the plan. First I found the mud so that I can bunk my class and practice for the event. So everyone was surprised when I left my class to practice. The practice I just wanted some went mud and I just had to make the things that were said. Things like a person, animals anything. I wasn't a bit good at it. Because whenever I added water it always was too much. Anyway, I can bunk the class that was my priority. The days were coming closer.

Competition day. I went to the competition. They told me to make a "Carpenter". I completed my work by two and half hour out of three. Wasted my time by snooping around and didn't wait for the result. Because by snooping around I knew I will never gonna win this. Anyway, I was simply happy that I participated in a competition. First and for the last time as part of my school life in Kerala. 

My Certificate of Clay Modelling

The One With The Perfect Girl

Our parents all have that one person to compare you with. I too had that perfect neighbourhood girl who knew all the household work, perfect in studies, silent, obedient. compared to that kid you will of course be a spoiled brat. She lived close to my house. We had just shifted there. I didn't know her name but for sure she was becoming the reason of my loss of peace. Whenever I pass the way near her house. I was so disappointed because she is always working. Either she will be washing clothes or washing dishes, cleaning the surroundings around the house.

Me in 11th grade (2011)

I only knew her name through my Mom's scolding. When through we were neighbors we didn't know each other or talked till three to four year until our tenth class result were to publish. Anyway even if she didn't have more A+ than me, she had a good percentage of mark. I got into high school and I opted computer science due to my fear of cutting cockroach. She got admission in my school in bio-science department. Was can be the worst thing. I hated catching cockroaches and she used to catch these for herself and sometimes for her classmates. So my mom favorite child was her because she wanted a kid like her. Calm and quiet, obedient and does all household chores in this younger age. 

But did you all didn't wonder why she was doing all that work at home. Her mother was hospital staff so she always had to go for work day and night. Since her mom wasn't at home all time my friend had to work at home. Not because she was willing but she had too.. It's kinda sad. 

So one day I decided to give a shock treatment to my dear parents. My mom had to go somewhere and my papa only had half day job. My mom had left home beautiful by 9 and won't be coming until afternoon. So I just started my playlist and to do work which where pending due to my moms busy schedule. The works I had to do was washing a ton of clothes, dry, fold them, wash all the dishes,  clean the house and surrounding, cook curry/side dish for lunch which I do before my papa comes. 

My First Pasta

The moment mom left the house I sorted all the clothes in different sections Sarees,  new clothes, old clothes, fathers, mothers, blankets and bed sheets etc..and put them in Washing machine which isn't automatic at all.  So the time I waited to take these clothes to get washed. I started cleaning up the house and when that finished I cleaned up the dishes. All these work was done except cooking. I went to have a great bath after doing all this work altogether at same day and for very first time..I had to cook the perfect curry even if I'm gonna make it for first time. Of course I sure made great dishes. But I bet I have improved a lot from then. My innocent parents aren't very curious like me. They do like same food, same job, same place. Even in 15 to 16 years of my life. We haven't made a chicken soup on any day. So I'm the one who is so curious about each and every thing. 

Anyway, after that day I did get scolded but not for knowing any job but for not doing it even when I do know the job. On days like that I get know me more. Lonely time is not that much of bad time. Now I know cooking, laundry, cleaning almost perfectly. Parents will always remain parents nor would we change. 

Math Loves Me..

As I already told you I left Mathematics and Malayalam for good. But did it leave me...?

Anyway there came a day of decision what stream should I take for higher studies. Amma and Achan told me to study Commerce. As for me Commerce is full of Math. I disapproved. So they told put a condition if you aren't gonna take Commerce you won't be allowed to go to school. I wasn't a bit afraid because I know my parents than they know me. So at that same moment I told them I will only go to school if they allow me to take Science or Humanities. My parents were against Science because it's hard and they knew I won't survive and they hated humanities and as I told you I knew my parents very well so I knew what decision will they take.

To the Trap set by Math.
Due to misunderstanding and my arrogance. I ended up in Science stream. I had no idea what I have done to myself. I came to know the more I hated and wanted to go away from math.  I fell in to the pit of Math. Everything rotates around Math. As time went away I realised is I shouldn't be arrogant anymore and listen to elders..  

The dear darling of Teachers..

My classroom teacher could have been any subject teacher. But she was the Math teacher. Due to my love for Math, I couldn't understand a single thing.  So I  got very poor marks in my classroom tests.  

Do you know what's the most embarrassing moment..??  

I got the least mark in midterm exam and the student next to me was top in my class. Anyway this made me a center of attraction. My Math teacher, Chemistry teacher, Physics teacher and computer teacher..  Everyone liked me that they only constantly ask me questions..  I want monitored by 2-3 students with good marks for these subjects. I did my every homework daily but just stayed constant as I was. Every teacher wanted me to get good grades at least passing marks. I don't like the changes. So I didn't have any improvement..  And there came 11th grade exam as well as special classes for week students. Whoever attend it or not I was a very must student who had to attend it. Every teacher in staff room even the non-teaching staff knew me. I was that much popular against them. Ooh.. 

My 12th grade class photo

Here comes a Miracle.. 

As told before I was a must student who had to attend special classes without absence. One day I was attending the physics class. Teacher had told us to learn 3 big theory for next day. Which where very important and must question for exam. She told to write every theories for 3-5 times. Anyway I just copied it and submitted it for the name sake. She took a test paper on it the very next day and miraculously I was the top scorer without any errors.. My teacher thought I cheated. Because the topper of the special classes students had errors..  So she told me to write again.  Which I  did but they still had doubt on me. So my teacher asked me how did I study the theories. I asked is there any errors that she is telling me to repeat. I didn't even know I was writing correct answer for the very first time. But I didn't even realize. Anyway I became the leader and the first student to teach, my trick to others. Then I will teach them tomorrow but I warned my teacher that she won't be liking the trick I used to remember the theory..

The next day all were very much anxious for the class because a fool of the year taking a class that would be rare.  Anyway I started taking classes in friendly manner..  They thought I won't be asking any questions because I  myself didn't know a thing.. But suddenly I started making jokes on tan, cos for cancelling them in theories. My teacher's face just got red.  She was a rank holder in college.  Who won't tolerate me making jokes on physics. Anyways I taught my friends with all possible jokes and abilities. After that teacher told them to write and learn again 2-5 times because she wasn't sure about my class. Again a test was conducted for a name sake. Few kid didn't repeat the same mistake which was unusual.  Ma'am understood that my class did something..  So they called my parents to meet. For first time teacher told them that she has talent but don't use it at all. So they tried to convince me to get good grades for semester exam and I did. Below average to good grades and my journey continued.. 

Best Friend And Her Poem

Lallia and Me (Right to Left)

Lallia, My bestfriend forever. As everyone I too have a best friend. She is of course as crazy person as me. I got to know her back in our college days. One year in my college time I lived in hostel. Even if we were studying same department we were in different class. She lived in eighteenth room but she shifted to sixteenth room as she vacated the 18th room I got allotted to that room. Just missed.

But as every time there always a twist in the story. Apparently my roommates were classmate with her roommates. So she always would be in my room and my roommate in hers. We were 3 person gang. We three made many memories. But eventually our third friend left our group so automatically she became my best friend.

One year we blasted as no other girls. We would go for movies, play pranks on each other, late night assignments, exams preparation, project submission, attend weddings, party, part time job, etc.

Me and Lallia(Right to Left)

There is a lot to tell things we did together. Now that we are apart from each other. Even though we don't call or text daily. We miss each other very much and when every we call each other we would recall all the incident. We are just very compatible because what all elements I missed in me. She has it all. Very thing she is good in math, i'm the worst. I could remember a way even if I just pass for first time , she gets confused.

We can't plan out a thing. Because our plan doesn't work as for normal people.

Here is a small incident I would like to share:   Once we were going to a friend's birthday party. We had to get a train because obviously it was too far, we didn't know the place we were about to go so we have to call when we reach at the station. From the enquiry department station we were informed that the very arriving train will be the train we had to board on. The train came, we got into it. It was heavily crowded but after one or two hour we got seats. We were enjoying our journey by listening music, chatting, food. Now nearly a three or maybe three and a half hours might have passed. She asked another passenger how much time will it take to reach our stop. His reply was the ever shocking reply we could get.

For starters we had got into wrong train which was heading to very opposite direction we had to go to. Secondly we had spend every penny in food because we didn't had our breakfast and if we reached the birthday house it would be by afternoon. We had planned to borrow money from our friend when we reach there. But now at this moment we saw our plan was falling apart. But we could not do a thing because train is going on it's way. Even if we had to do something we can't afford to take risk at this movement because what we had was 40-50 rupees. So we decided to get down in next stop.

Our friends list was vast because our college was taking students from all parts of India. So we had North Indian and South Indian friends. So we called one of our senior. He bought us food and gave us enough money to reach our hostel. Although we didn't get to attend the birthday party .We enjoyed a lot. We explored new place and it was my first time I met this senior. We all have that one contact who would help us in anyplace just because we studied in that college. Not only inside Kerala but also outside Kerala.

Now, all can understand after reading this we are totally crazy. See first of all whose goes to an unknown place without enough money.

We both commonly love traveling, beer and long walks. We could discuss every thing and if needed one would make decision for other. Because we do trust each other that much. Now I'm in Kerala and she is in Bangalore. Me with my family and she with hers. She have a job there. 

Recently, she wrote a poem. I would like to publish the poem here. The title is "The incomplete souls".

                                 

                                                    The Incomplete Souls by Lallia

A 24 YEAR OLD STORY...

My story may not be so special to you all. Then also for the every patient person on earth...

As you all know my name is Nayana. I was born in Mumbai to an Keralite parents. My parents are Mr.Subhashan and Geetha Subhashan. My father works for small daily wage. He knows many works such as maintenance, welding, electrical works even he is a better cook. My mother is a house wife. I was born and bought up for 11 years at Mumbai(Maharastra).

My parents and me from my first rice feeding ceremony

That Twist.. 

Due my grandma's request my father shifted  to Kerala and all of the sudden everything changed. Some close people become strangers and vise versa. I joined school nearby. Even though their was difficulty to change that happened. I had to cope up with my studies too due to the change of regional language. Thankfully when I was I'm Mumbai my Amma(Mother) used to teach Malayalam in vacation times. That became a great thing.

Me: The ALIEN..

The most funny yet irritating thing in those times was. I was like alien to the kids of my new school. Just because I don't know fluently (Malayalam) the common language and which I knew (Hindi) they didn't either. I could only make a very few friends. In the starting days some other classes students came and talk to me just because they haven't seen a kid from outside Kerala. Some just ask can they touch me so they can realize they are speaking to an outsider that came from Mumbai. 

The Common Enemies..

A strange thing I get to knew is even if we study or not they would pass us to the next level till 9th. If we could just get through 9th grade we will definitely pass 10th grade. Because 9th is the hardest of all class. So I just played, enjoyed being that alien friend of all. Many ups and down came the way. Anyway God and luck was by my side. I wrote the 10th grade exam and waiting for the result. My whole relatives families were waiting for the result so they could decide what to be done. Some gave hope and some others waiting to strike if I failed. 

All were tensed  as was I because of the my two common enemies: Mathematics and Malayalam. I started to go computer classes because I couldn't bear the pressure. My Amma consoled me that she know I will pass but she was too afraid because I was not confident about the language papers.

My class photo from ninth grade

The Judgement day..

When I was in Mumbai I had to go through the same pressure.I was a kid who got ranked in between the five toppers. That same kid today is praying and waiting just to know that she didn't fail. The very first time I didn't go to see my results because I didn't want to get humiliated. So as usual I when to my computer center and my Amma went to see my results. I called her after the class. She didn't pick up anyway. Thinking of  the worse I took the bus back to home with one hope I just get a heart attack and die on the spot so I don't get mortified in front of my relatives. I reached the bus stop and called Amma from a booth nearby. She took the call and said wait there itself. She will reach soon in an motionless voice. I understood that I failed. I was at the edge of tears. Amma's bus came, she stepped down the bus, handed me the result and said look what have you done.

I opened that piece of paper holding a eye full of tears and the tears fell in that paper. Anyway I passed that Malayalam papers with a B and B+ grades and Mathematics with barely D+. I decided to never look towards these two subjects in my life time for good.